Ode to Dick

Ode to Dick

 

You are the symbol

We all look up to

The all and the mighty

A hard drinking fighting man’s man

You Wyoming womanizer you.

 

Rise up, oh Dick

Recharge your pacemaker once more

The democrats want to deflate you

Those whimpering pussies.

But we know what you’re made of, dear old Dick

We’ve seen our bank accounts

Surge like an oil gusher

Thanks to you and your war.

 

You’re quick on the trigger

And you’ll shoot friend or foe

That much we know.

You carry a big stick

A strong, silent type of Dick

And you swing it like you’re Mick.

 

We love you Dick

That’s our song

And we sing it proudly.

We love Dick

We love Dick

He’s our man

To hell with the Democrats

Next stop Iran!

 

 

 

Notorius B.I.E.B. gets sprung from the big house

The Bieber served a lengthy sentence of 4 hours.

What did we ever do to you, Canada?

Wha a Rush

What a Rush

 

by the unknown poet

 

In the paper today news of

Rush Limbaugh’s 400 million

Dollar contract,

His listeners lucky

To make 40 grand a year

While he convinces them

To vote him another raise.

There’s a sucker born

Every minute

And by my count

Every one of his listeners.               

 

I am not a crook. I am not a witch. I am not a bully.

What do these three statements have in common?

The Hard Sell

 

I got a call today

Someone selling gold bullion

By the troy ounce.

The usual scare tactics,

The dept is exploding

The country is imploding

We’re becoming socialists, no, communists

We’re the next Greece, no, Portugal.

 

Rich white people selling gold

Dug up by poor black people

To other rich white people.

Capitalism at work.

Glenn Beck would be proud.

 

Eight Is Not Enough

Eight Is Not Enough

 

 

Eight years is not enough

We need another Texan

To finish the job.

 

So close to another war

So close to bankrupting the country

So close to destroying the unions.

What this country needs

Is a good tax cut for the rich.

 

Vote for the Texas televangelist

And vote for God.

 

 

Pardon Me!

 

 

 

Ah … Scooter, the Scootster, Scooty

The office prankster

One of the good ole’ boys

Friend of Dick, loyal soldier

Willing to take the truth

To his grave.

 

I beg your …

I never promised you a pardon

But W gave the best he could.

Slick, that W, so slick

Saved the Scooter from jail

Where no Yalie belongs.

Put one over on all of us

But that taste, that smell

It’s everywhere

And we can’ get it out of our mouths.

Oxymoron

 

 

Famous poet.

Military intelligence.

President Rick Perry.

Compassionate conservative.

 

How To Succeed

 

I once worked with this guy

Baby faced, fat

Around the middle,

Never really worked

A day in his life

And didn’t know a

Thing about

What he was doing, but

He could talk

And he had friends

So despite his screw ups

He climbed the

Corporate ladder

Reaching the upper rung

Where he could kick

Everyone below.

Sort of like

W. Bush, but

Not as dumb.

 

 

 

A Little Reminder

 

 

In the small woods in my subdivision

The builders forgot to flatten

The trees are filled

With lawn chairs,

Plastic tables

And other suburban accessories

Katrina took from our back yards

And left like ornaments

In the southern pine and Mississippi magnolia.

Just a little reminder

What we take from nature

Nature can take back in spades.

 

Ashcroft Covers The Breasts Of The Spirit Of Justice

Ashcroft Covers The Breasts Of The Spirit Of Justice

 

 

Justice may be blind

But just to be sure

Big John covered the breasts

Of The Spirit of Justice.

 

Who knowS what

Seeing those luscious stone

Tits would do

To the minds of his

Obsequious lawyers.

 

Better to keep their minds occupied

With Morning Prayer meetings

And ways to arrest people

Without evidence

And torture them

Without conscience.

 

Reagan’s Funeral

 

 

 

Pomp and circumstance

Heartfelt tears

Glowing accolades

Clichés upon clichés

What a great man, leader, husband, father

Etc., etc.

 

They seem to have

Left out the part

About the woman

With schizophrenia

Thrown out of the mental hospital

Into the streets

So the man with everything

Could have one thing more.

 

The Big Gypper

The Big Gypper

 

We have so much to thank you for.

The firing of those pesky patco controllers

Leading the way

For the annihilation of unions.

You made the rich richer

And the poor poorer.

You convinced us we had it made

With the crumbs from your table.

You were the great communicator

Declaring greed is good.

You showed those welfare queens

Who was king.

 

 

 

Tempest in a Tea Party

 

Tempest in a Tea Party

 

 

Ready to boil over

Ready to bolt.

If the tea is too tepid

The crazy get elected.

 

GUNS

Guns

 

Rat a tat tat

Playing with plastic guns

Running with rubber knives

Growing up to go to war

Domestic or foreign

Just like that.

A Thousand Points of Fright

 

 

You could see it in his shiftless eyes.

His Dad had tried

To keep him from his demons

But in the end

The demons won

And we lost.

 

Does Karl Rove Come From France?

Does Karl Rove Come From France?

 

It’s hard to say. He does have

A cone head. And I can imagine

Him downing a six pack without

Removing the cans from their plastic sleeve.

 

Fox News Asks The Tough Questions

 

Is he a socialist

Or a communist?

A fascist

Or a Marxist?

Is he the antichrist

Or an anarchist?

Is he Hitler in blackface?

A white black racist

Or a black white racist?

I bet he pals around with terrorists.

 

They are carrying signs

Advancing on the capital

Laying siege to D.C.

The great screaming Santelli

Is having a kanipshin fit

On live TV.

 

An uprising of Fox followers

Wait for Glenn Beck

To give them their marching orders.

Rupert

 

I sing the praises of Rupert

That grand old Aussie

 Rupe’s the man

He can buy and sell anyone.

He’s the media mogul

Who owns politicians outright

And pulls the strings

Of the puppets on Fox News.

I sing the praises of Rupert

Watching my News stock soar

He knows which side the bread is buttered

And where the bodies are buried.

 

 

 

Souvenirs

 

In El Salvador the Generals kept

The lopped off ears of their enemies

Dried and pressed like leaves

A keepsake for old age.

 

The pearl handled pistol

Of Saddam is mounted on the wall

Of the white house

A keepsake

For Bush’s revenge.